To me, fall is mostly a welcomed relief from the Southern heat. Finally, at last, I can take a trash bag outside without breaking a full on sweat. Or maybe I’m just a sweaty person.
All of the sudden, when the temperature drops, heaven opens up and it makes me want to bake and snuggle in to read the 50 books I have checked out from the library. It also makes me feel like I can pick up some of the things I’ve set down, like reading Prayer by Tim Keller. I’m on my third and final library renewal, so I’ve got to finish it. Keller talks about how essential prayer is, how it is the most important thing we can do as humans, and even confesses how weak his prayer life once was. I particularly appreciate his humility to confess that although he was a pastor, a husband, and a father he still hadn’t gotten the prayer thing really going. It made it easier for me to start reading. If such a man of God could admit he didn’t really, really dig into praying, then I can, too. So I’m going to confess to you– I’ve had years where I prayed every day with vigor, but I’ve had more recent years where I have mumbled to Him hurriedly or thrown guilt-ridden prayers up before falling asleep. He’s awakened a desire to know Him and talk to Him in the past few months, and I’m trying to respond.
Hello, little prayer acorns!
Which leads me to this past Saturday. I’ve volunteered at a camp that encouraged spending long amounts of time with just God. I forget exactly what they called it, but I have precious, soul-defining memories of laughing and crying with God as I confessed all of my anxieties and prayed through my weaknesses and interceded for others. So I asked Will if he wanted to go on a little morning hike and have time in prayer together and apart.
The stairs to heaven are in Jefferson Memorial Forest
And let me tell you, it was special. The air, the little dogs walking with people passing by, the gorgeous trees with views I didn’t notice until Will pointed them out on the walk back after we turned around together. Most of all, the communion with God. We walked and talked and I asked Him things and talked through some of what’s been on my heart. He showed me how I have a lack of compassion in my heart and how present He is and even what a big commitment Will and I made to each other 1.5 years ago. My prayers rambled past my sleepy morning talks to more touchy topics that take a while to work through.
an imperfect, redeemed, wannabe prayer warrior
Thanks for asking me to spend time with you, God. Even through the imperfect days that have followed including getting mad at Will for not reading the dumpling cooking instructions, and wanting to fall asleep when the sermon got long on Sunday. You are good.